all water no color

i look for inspiration everywhere
gathering little details
scraps to sew together later
but i'm really grasping
frayed edges and threadbare textiles

collected images are greyscale and grainy
out of focus
i have to squint my eyes to see
what i'm looking at
i need a lens replacement

all water no color
i pick up each shade with my brush
but they all blend to brown
what am i supposed to do
with this muddy masterpiece?

twenty-something
i create for the sake of art itself
most pursuits end in vain
i fall asleep unsatisfied
defeated hoping in my attempts
the art is making me.