it’s not that deep

i say to myself through my tears
“it’s not that deep”
but it is
it is to me
i lie through my teeth
and say “i’m fine”
when i see you in the grocery line
i thought i left you in last year
so what am i still doing here
and i hug you
i don’t know what else to do
because it’s not that deep
it isn’t
not to me.